Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Road to fucking Whistler

What a fucking nightmare. The road is almost worse now than before. If that is possible at all, but seems to be the case. There are so many fucked up things about the road. I finally managed to get up early enough to get up there early, by 9am, actually a bit late. And it was raining down in Creekside base of the gondola. Like a nice downpour. Fucking Pineapple express was coming in. First time in my smogger going up for the spin up to the hill there. Not too bad. I got really hammed up the night before so I passed out by 9pm or so, so I could wake up. Then even before the turn off by Horseshoebay, some dude got pulled over. I generally drive 20-30 over the limit on the freeway. 60 or so in the city. The exception to that in the city is the bridge traffic. The only time you have a so-called freeway in this town. Well not much on the causeway, only 80 or so. But I don't put it in 5th gear. You don't do that shit. Keep the speed to the gear, so like 3rd normally for city. 4th for light highway. Fucking stop and go, gets the fucking left foot tired. But that's a different story. The only time that a manual sorta sucks. Well a hill start too, and some fucker from some rice paddy behind you, so its on your bumper. But looks like a ghost car. That's a different story and country, plus a question to ask, is like why. Why are you here? Why can't you drive? Why do they allow 'idiots','foreigner's', hypens, etc... do their test in not Bridge Out language. Can't wait till Ditchmond has signs everywhere in chinking scratch. Fuck the Europeans. Now these things that look like Indians, sorta, still can't speak the language, fuck the white man up the ass. They came across the sea and brought us chopsticks and SARS to name a few of the good things that come from that Red wasteland.

But fuck. Fuck I hate that. That always gets me going. Fucking retarded drivers. Generally seem to be from not Alterba like environment. Like WTF is anything, let alone why do you have a party of stupid little shit on your dashboard. I know the spoiler, is too make up for not having a sizeable penis of more than a couple inches, if that. But that's nice. Just like rice, rice very nice. But yeah. There are so many fucking idiots on the road.

On the sea to sky highway they have signs before every passing zone. Slower traffic keep right. It ain't like you driving to fucking something in the wastelands, of carland. (Like anyone walks in the mall parking lot. They must be a junkie wantting to break into your car, or a fucking retard, or have some problem, since they only huff gasoline.) By that I mean Nanamio and King Edward. Anything else is basically car orientated development. Nice to look at. Why you go to the 'city' to watch sports games. Hmmm, nice shit in Surrey. Well probably lotsa grow shows, meth labs, crack shacks, kurri shops and fucking retarded stinking attitude. But there are signs everywhere. Roads that specifiy the rule of the road. Another example is the intersection at Park Royal and Taylor Way. Do not block intersection. Do not block intersection. Fuck why even have that. Its the rule of the fucking road. Such as Slower traffic keep right. In Deutschland you'ld get shot for being a retard or not just slammed up the bunghole first pump balls deep dry, even for going only 160 clicks in the passing lane. That's right hand side, or generally middle lane, since the right lane is for truck traffic only and 80 km speed limit. But now they have a supposedly law trying to put limits on the Autobahn, because of this thing called 'global warming'. That's fucked. Only good thing to happen to Deutschland. Only thing that anyone thinks of Germans excpet that they also are Nazis. Eventhough that happened over 6 decades ago.

That road is odd. To say the least. Right now with all the contsruction its royally fucked. Lotsa 50 zones all around. tons of them everywhere. They even have spped indicator signs. 60 is good, over it flashes, sorta to make you feel bad. But most people go around 70 or. But on the way up at 7:30 or so on a Sunday morning. A S10 was nigging it up with me by Cypress. Then I let him pass, good thing. I look to my right and an unmarked SUV with a yellow jacket, West Van cop, was there. So I slowed down to 60, I think I was going about 70 and drinking my breakfest beer. Dude got busted for going 80 or 90. It was a construction zone. But nobody was working. Then 2 dudes got pulled in Squamish between Canadian Tire and the beer store, across from the Burger King. I hate that fucking Burger King. The last light of Squamish. Before you find Squamish horse. I was stuck there hitching a ride back for more than a couple hours. At least there was a beer store there to give me some 'company'. Makes hithcing better. Weed not so much. Makes time like go slow and stuff, and then it's like wow man. I've been here for a very long time, but its only been a few minutes. The reason I hate that location, is because of the long wait. But the most fucked up thing happened. The same dude that picked me up at 7am across the overpass just at the start of the highway, picked me up there. It was weird. The day was as he said, fucking EPIC. No shit. Foot of fresh, but worth every minute of it. Not like the day a week ago. The other thing about that road that is weird, is the cars that pick you up. Generally thumbing it and you get picked up by some fucking fucked royally like inbreed fucks fom old school Surrey of decades foregone. But on the road to Whistler they get nice cars to pick you up. I think that dude had a Jimmy too. Nice guy. Fucking eh. Just weird. Hitchhiking is fun. The best way to travel almost, as long as you don't have to be somewhere really far away soon. In Europe it fucking rocks. Plus you getta smoke bottle tokes, since all you really fine is hash, while waiting. Then the other dude that got pulled over was probably 10 miles or so north of Squamish. Some Beamer, like a shitty 300 series. I hate that part of the highway.

The other part I hate, is the first part that they nigged up. the part between Lions Bay and Furry Creek. Sure its 2 lanes, but windy as fuck. No way to go much more than 100 easily on that. Plus idiots from the city, do not understnad that english based sign. SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT. On the highway/freeway that's the way you drive, unless too much traffic But rarely on that road unless a bridge washed out or some fucking deadly accident. That sucks, I gotta wait cause of some dead cock sucker. Why don't you just mix the bones and mesh into a stir fry and call it the special of the day in some restaurant that also severs dogs and cats around the Balmoral, like south of ti. Then after Britannia you have the hill and passing lane. People are idiots. What is mirror, what is my car (besides gutless and you get a fucking discount from the Hitler Harper fuckheads). Learn how to fucking pass, and that your car has more gears than RND123, but you only use the first three. Sorry missed Park. What the fuck. I drove my first automatic 2 years after I got my license only driving 3 on the tree Nova and the Nissan pickup, gutless 5 speed but good on gas. You have to run it up. Get past the fucker. Get past the fucker. Don't just like whatever man, fuck this one gets me going about drivers. There are som any aspects of driving that drive you nuts. At least I don't 'need' or 'want' to do that every day. Hopefully you can still find places to rent by the time the games are back in Cowtown, lestt thna 3 years. This year the snow was pretty good. Get past the fukcer. Go and get back in your lane. Look in the lane a few times before passing. All the passing lanes, at least on the old highway, were always going up hill. then one fucking retard, fucks it up for everyone so you can't get in front of the leader. The leader of the slow pack. Just takes one fuck, either a bus or some fucking idiot. That's why you need to pass on double yellow. to get in front. Plus then you can throw out your beer can, with not really been seen. Sure it will be tumbling down the road and stuff. But that's not littering, just character. I guess the character of an alcoholic, one could ponder. Or maybe not. Throwing anything else out is fucking bullshit. Its nice to have your own stretch on the road. Once you have a few cars, you know they are like you. LIke yeah. The drive is fun. Hotboxing the gondola is fun. Fucking 7th Heaven Rocks. No more fucking Boot and a murder, WTF and of course the strippers gone too. Fuck but the drive is fun. That's half the story of getting up there. Its just those that impeded that drive you fucking nuts. Its like what the fuck are you on. Pass it on. I say that alot at work too. Pass one whatever the hell you are smoking. A little different wen the boss is around, but well you gotta look busy then. lol. But yeah Whistler is fucked to say the least. There are good things. Big Air party in April is coming. That always kicks ass. Fucking eh. You need money to go there, so you don't see not many not like Casper like people, eventhough a good chunk of them are fjcuking yankees. At least they sorta know english. That's the nice thing about the mountains. Even so like at Cypress, but they have an chug boarding team. Also lotsa fucking rising suns, that are like WTF. Not too bad I guess. Get to learn english, go snowboarding, smoke it up and walk like a sloth.

But that day was a waste of time. Firstly I got dressed up in the gear on Creekside. It was pissing rain. At least there is free covered parking. Covered being the key word, and not a long walk to the gondola. Gotta hotbox it on the way up. Think that was 3rd doobie of the day, only had 2 beers on the drive up. Then a run. To Franz's car. That's about as far as the snow came. Dude came on with me, lives up there been 100 times or so. I drank my beer. It was the 4th one. Had one on the Red Chair. Plus it was around 10 am or so. He called me oldschool. But then he didn't like me adding character after I finished one of the 8 pack rabbit Pilsners. Said someting about the Suzuki foundation. Taht was the only run worth anything. Sure 20-cm new but it was like a chore to get through. Then down to another chair, Emerald I think. don't know Whistler too good. I like creekside, though since, the gondola is generally a lot less crowded. Plus not mid station, so makes hotboxing more 'doable'. But then again, rarely I don't do that. Unfortunately have to 'air' it out a bit before the top. Not like for the World Cup in 2005 in February. Hmmm what's happening in 3 years in February in Whistler. Well this was a half pipe at mid station on Blackcomb. Pissing rain. 3 of us. Hotboxes it up on the way up. Then downloaded and royally hotboxed it. then the lifties loaded a family in, with the smoke totally billowing. Fucking eh. They must have got 'stoned' like it or not. Fuckin eh, welcome to Whistler, BC (Breathe Cannabis). But yeah then that run royally sucked. got pissed on. Went to eat some food in the Roundhouse and dry out. Then fucking hotbox again. That's the best thing if you have to download. Just like going on a chair thought there is common sense that needs to prevail. Hmm ski school. No. ski Patrol behind me. No. Little kids, NO. Old farts, hard call. Snowboarders, probably for both doobies and beer. Whistler is a lot different than other mountains, but then agiain I only go to Cypress. So that's really a fair comparison. At Cypress you get losta little kids, like teenagers skipping out to go boarding. Fucking smart kids. But Whistler has the monied ones. A lot harder to find a joint smokeable lift. Cypress its a given. Whistler its a given for a snowmobile ride off the mountain. All the lifties must be fucking stoned. That job is insane. But its the fucking 'image' that matters. Fucking BS.

But the signs on the road don't mean anything. Isn't that an image.

SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT

I could care less if you are going 140 clicks. If I'm going faster get out of my way. Not like I'm going slow, like 120 since tis an 80 zone and you gingerly nig it up to 90 to pass a bus or truck or something else, right by the end of the lane too it always seems. Right at the end. I can sorta make time. You gotta nig it up, or just don't fucking bother. But then agian you must care about that 2K you got for buying that piece of shit smog ma chine. Of course you need it. But that's a completeely different mentailiy of a city. Sure I have a smogmahcine now too. Yeah fucking ha. I like it beter than the ocmpany vehcile cause I can do wahtever I swant to it. Yes, whatever I want. Such as hotboxing it. Hotboxing actually works better in a stationary car. The gondolas at Whistler/Blackcomb rock thourgh. Nice to get the waves floating around. Well still works. Better when its rainign, so you don't 'stick' out as much. So me like going 130 in the right lane. People pass. I don't care. Its those that just like WTF. Like a stupid American just before BOB coming back. I think that side is BOB or no its heading up not back to town. Or is it. Fuck. Fuck I can't answer that with definite response. Not like here's a picture of the mountains. Which is which. That one is fucking simple as fuck though, especially if the village is in the foreground and you also have Alpha lake there. I need to find that road. Never been on it, road block beater or the only other way to nig it up besides the highway from Creek to downtown pedestrian ville.

This other retard pulls in front of me. I'm odd driving. Don't look at the bumper ahead. Like to leave room, plus use gears not brakes. More fun. Driving is fun, as the car commercials always show it. But htis idiot turns on from the Paradise Valley turn off, well the second one before you get to Squamish horse. I'm going 90 or so. It nigs it up to 60. Have to slam on my brakes and honk the horn. It waves or something. I just gave her the bird eh. I always do that one. Or the ~!!. The old school classic. Understand = !!. Why flail. But then agian that goes back to signs. What is that, especially if its a 'language' of chicken scratch shite. I wonder how many languages are based on fucking normal alpahabet of ABC shit.. Plus a few different characters, such as éüöçåՎêèéÇöæÆäß zB. Then all those other ones that look like nothing of any distinction. But that' question has me going. English, Espeanôl, Francais, Deutsch, Nederlandisch/Flemmish, Sweden, Denamrk, Norway, Finland, Polske, Czech, Italian, Hungarion, Bulgarian, Iceland I think too. May have missed a few there. Not the symbols of Greece, mother Russia, the asians and allah akbars. totally side tracked there.

But the main sign.
One sign.
Wonder what the hell it's gonna be.

Inhale
Exhale
fucking Road block, or counter attack mobile sign just before Function Juntcion, gets I'm going to Creekside.

Slower Trafffic Keep Right

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